a change of race

Sunday morning couldn’t have started better. Waking up early before my alarm was to go off, I had plenty of time to eat, get ready, and get out to the trails before meeting up with the group training run for the Griffith Park Trail Half Marathon. Cloud cover made the morning unusually darker than usual at 6AM — really dark. I’m not one to run on the trails alone in the dark all by myself, even with a headlamp, so I waited a little longer to head on out.

Upon reaching the trail, I could see the top of the mountain disappear into the fogginess and it was barely light out. But I figured I’d enjoy it while I can because it’ll be burning off soon. By now, the sky was a little lighter and there were a few people already getting started on their hikes and runs.

Because Ray Milller is coming up in less than 3 weeks (or two weeks from Saturday), my plan was to run before and after this training run. The training run itself was to be about 8 miles, but later I’d find out it was a tad over 6 miles.

For the most part, going into this run I felt pretty good and I’ll give credit to the weather for helping with that. It’s always been so hot and humid whenever I get out to the trails so having fog and drizzly mist around was a welcomed relief.

Running and hiking these particular trails is nothing new to me, but having the fog around made it easier to not see the steepness that is Hogback trail. But for some reason, as I made my way up, I was keenly more aware of how steep it really is.

Was it always this steep? 

Sometimes it’s just better not knowing what is up ahead.

Shortly into this run, however, my mindset began to change and I began contemplating Ray Miller. And I never stopped.

Am I ready to go 50 miles again? 

Am I trying to convince myself I am ready?

Am I biting off more than I can chew at this point in my training?

Am I setting myself up for failure? 

Starting to feel doubtful is a scary place to be, and I started to question everything. Oh yes, doubt settled in very nicely and it’s made itself quite cozy.

Later that night, I made a decision.

I emailed race director, Keira Henninger, to inquire about dropping down a distance. I was truthful and honest in explaining my lack of confidence going 50 miles in a few short weeks. Frankly, I didn’t know if it’d be possible for me to even change distances, but I figured since the race is still 3 weeks away I had a better chance, rather than having the race a couple of days away and waiting until the last minute to say anything.

Yeah, I know the race starts in 10 minutes, but can I go ahead and switch to the 5K?

There is no 5K.

When she told me she would switch me over to the 50K (as I requested), I couldn’t have felt more elated and a sense of relief! Deep down I knew it was the best decision for me to make. Truthfully, I know I’m not ready for 50 miles in a couple of weeks, and I’d be running on pure ego if I went ahead and toed the line for it. Not entirely the smartest thing for me to do.

So my 50 mile race, is now a 50K race, and that is perfectly fine with me. My next 50 miler is just postponed until after the new year.

These 12.64 miles I did were tough. Doubt made me lose focus and unable to push through the mental fog I was experiencing. But, the good thing is, all that was gone once I changed my race.

Thanks for reading and Happy Trail Running!