It is officially August! Yay!! August is lovely. August is my favorite! August is birthday month! I’m not one to go all crazy about my birthday. Generally I’m actually pretty quiet about it, but this year I’d very much like to reach my next birthday because the day before, I’m running the Bulldog 50K.
A couple of days ago I set off to run the Bulldog course with the UltraLadies, which is lead by race director Nancy Shura-Dervin. Given as I wasn’t able to partake in any of the other course preview runs, I knew I better take advantage of this opportunity since it was the final one scheduled. I should say the final one organized by UltraLadies. I could always run the course on my own. The only problem I have with that is, I get easily confused and lost towards the end of the loop after we veer onto the single track Backbone trail heading down into the creek, around 11 or 12 miles into the course. I’ve run this course many times, but I never remember which way we turn. Thank goodness for flour markings and ribbons!
Luckily this time around I took video of the course to help me remember. In fact I took so much video, editing will probably take me just as long as it took me to finish a loop…if not longer. I’ll post that to the YouTube channel as soon as I can.
The Bulldog course has always been a tough one for me. We climb a few thousand feet in only a few miles. We have long stretches of downhill. We have a creek which I always have to maneuver through. Then we have another stretch of vertical before descending into the final miles of the loop. While the miles are one thing, the heat is another. It’s notoriously hot.
Saturday morning I felt good. My legs did feel a little tired and my calves felt a little tight, so I eased into the run very slowly. Not sure if running 8.5 miles the day before played a part, but I have a feeling there were many aspects going into, and during, this run which influenced the outcome.
My intention was to complete a full loop (a little over 14 miles) and start a second loop, but not completing a full second loop. I only wanted to get past the mental barrier of starting a second loop and do a few more miles. I figured 20 miles for the day would be sufficient.
I was only about 15 or 16 miles into this run and I felt done. My body was tired. My legs didn’t want to go. I didn’t exactly bonk, but I definitely ran out of gas. Not sure where I was in mileage, but I finally made the decision to call it a day. I turned around to head home. When I finished, my eyes saw 18.77 on my Garmin. My spirit knew I didn’t reach my 20 mile goal. My heart felt broken.
I felt disappointed and like I had let myself down. I set a goal for myself and I didn’t reach it. All I had to do was venture out another half mile and turn around, but I couldn’t even get myself to do that!
The next morning I woke up and headed out to the trails. I needed more trail time. Not because I wanted to reach a certain mileage for the week, or for the month, but because being on the trails helps me connect to why I’m doing all of this in the first place and the trails help me think. I needed to reflect on what happened and figure out how to move on from it.
Where exactly did I go wrong?
Sleep. Hydration. Nutrition. I believe that’s what it came down to. I simply did not do enough of any of those.
As I was hiking up a hill, I saw a man working on the trail. Out of nowhere a voice in my head told me, say good morning. His back was turned to me and he looked so engaged with his work, I honestly wasn’t planning on saying anything to him. But I heard that voice in my head a second time, say good morning. And so I did.
“Good morning,” I said, not knowing if my voice was loud enough for him to hear me.
He turns around.
“Good morning. Are you having a good workout?” He replied.
“I am. Thank you.”
“It’s a beautiful day,” he said.
“It sure is,” I said as I walked past him to carry on my hike up the hill, “Have a great day.”
“Thank you. We’re the lucky ones for being out here.”
I turned around. “I’m sorry, what was that?”
“We’re the lucky ones for being out here.”
“Yes we are.”
I firmly believe the Universe knows what it’s doing even when you don’t think it does. You will hear and see and be presented with things you may not understand, but I believe there is always a reason for it. Things don’t just happen to you. They happen for you. That’s what I believe.
That voice in my head was not ME, telling me to say good morning. That voice was something beyond me. Honestly, I was just gonna keep on walking by without saying a word.
When he told me, “we’re the lucky ones for being out here,” it was like the Universe wanted me to hear that because obviously in the time I was feeling down and broken about Saturday’s training, it wanted me to know how lucky I am to even be doing this in the first place!
At that moment, I was truly feeling grateful for the opportunities to train and to even make mistakes.
Deep down I know this is what training is all about. Making mistakes. Taking responsibility and owning up to those mistakes. And learning from those mistakes. If I don’t learn anything from what I did wrong, or what didn’t work for me during this particular training run, or any training run for that matter, then there’s no point to any of this.
Nobody is ever perfect and I still have a lot to learn and hone down within the next few months for Javelina and in the next 4 weeks for Bulldog. But I’ll get there…or at least as close to it as possible.
Thank you for reading!
Nice post Christina! Just to address the mileage at Bulldog. When the race first started in 1992, there were no garmins. Race mileage was calaculated from Tom Harrison Maps. These are printed maps that are still available in mountaineering stores. The maps are water resistant and are meant to carry on the hike. The maps show the trail divided into segments with distances between segments and you just add up the segments to get the total distance for your hike or run. Sometime later, along came garmin. Since garmin relies on satellite signal and is most accurate when the course is exposed (with no zig zags, no canyon walls and no canopy from trees, etc. it also works best on flat courses since it measures point-to-point, steep up hills and down hills can measure short as well. The problem at Bulldog is that the signal is frequently dropped, especially through the dry creek, the race course is very hilly, and the course “snakes”. When a satellite signal drops and picks up again, the garmin draws a straight line from point-to-point so the mileage will measure shorter than what was actually travelled on foot.
That is great info Nancy! I had no idea! That actually makes me feel much better. 🙂