It’s the day before my next 50K race and I’m on the cusp of freakout mode. You see, not only is the Bulldog 50K an important race for me in terms of a personal goal and part of my 100 mile training, but as I’m tackling those 31-ish miles, I’m also aware I’m exactly 9 weeks until I line up to the Javelina Jundred starting line! 9 weeks!!!
What rattled me was getting a pacing chart from who I sure hope is one of my pacers for Javelina and shit just got really real. It’s the first time I saw miles and aid station names and times all laid out for me. Slowly it’s sinking in I’ll be participating in my biggest race and longest distance ever! And I’m terrified. But, I’m also excited.
Javelina Jundred is the second race I’m seriously excited for. I’m pretty darn excited about the Chicago Marathon this year which you can help calm my nerves about it by making a small donation (or large donation if you wish) to my fundraising page on behalf of the American Cancer Society, an organization I’m very passionate about. You can go here. Thank you!
Okay…back to Javelina…
Getting feedback and hearing stories from people who selected it as their first 100 miler only reinforced my decision even more. I know I picked a great race.
Being terrified at this point is a good thing. It makes me want to do the training. It makes me focus on what I need to do. I’m also terrified something could go terribly wrong such as last week when I rolled my left ankle. Luckily, it wasn’t bad.
The Bulldog 50K on Saturday will begin what will most likely be the most intense 8 weeks of training I’ve ever had.
Not that what I’ve been doing until now has been easy peezy.
I’ve struggled with getting out the door at times. I lock it.
I’ve struggled with trying to make better food choices. Can I just eat Rice Krispie Treats for breakfast, lunch, and dinner?
I’ve struggled with thinking I should be in much better shape by now. Seriously how are these pounds not melting off?! I wonder if it has to do with Rice Krispie Treats.
I’ve struggled with doubt at times. Ooh it sure creeps up in the least suspecting moments. Like when I’m tying my shoes. What if I forget how to tie my shoes when I’m trying to run 100 miles?
I’ve struggled with feeling tired and sore and slow and achy. And that’s when I’m not even running.
But one thing I know for sure. I’ve never struggled with the idea of quitting, or giving up my quest to do 100 miles.
Seriously though, doubt comes into my head and makes me wonder, “Can I even do this? I’m not sure I can.” This happens especially when I see, or hear someone I feel is a stronger runner, or faster runner, who is putting in more miles than me. I’m thankful I’ve had people who’ve knocked sense into me and snap me out of it even though it may take me some time to realize it.
Everyone is different. All runners are different. We’re all on different training plans and different phases of where we are as runners. We can’t compare. I can’t compare.
All I can do is keep plugging along and fight through whatever I need to fight through during the next 8 weeks of training. Yeah, it’s definitely starting to get really real. And I’m ready for it.
Thanks for reading!