After a couple of days of coming to grips with the reality of what happened at Javelina Jundred, it was time for me to embrace recovery. If there was anything I was looking more forward to, other than earning my first 100 mile buckle, it was the recovery time! Of course, recovery is looking much different than I had expected.
In my best case scenario, I envisioned crossing the finish line, and with buckle in hand, I’d ride off into the sunset and take the rest of November off. Yes, the entire month of November off from running! I would do other things, such as walk and hike, and toss in some yoga, but no running!
Instead, my race was shortened 39 miles and I suddenly found myself pondering what to do now. Do I still take the rest of the month off from running? Do I really need that much time to fully recover?
Taking a whole month off after Javelina wasn’t just because I felt my muscles and body needed that much time to feel 100% again. It was simply a way to heal and regroup after such an intense year of training and races. I’m tired. My body is tired. My emotions are tired. My mind is exhausted. And not just from running and training alone. From life itself!
After the race, it took a couple of days for my body to stop aching and by Wednesday, my feet finally stopped throbbing with periodic spasms. I wasn’t expecting for it to take that long.
While I saw a few people jump back into the running groove a couple of days after the race, even seeing one person on Instagram running again the day after finishing the 100 miler, I held back. I wasn’t in any hurry to start up again. Much like running itself, people recover at different speeds, but I was going to allow myself to take as much time as I felt I needed.
By Friday following the race, I strolled myself to a 3 mile walk to assess how I was feeling. While I had short bouts of walking since then, 3 miles was a lengthy distance for me. My body felt drained still. Because I completed 70 miles that week (including the race itself), I wanted to err on the side of caution because the last time I hit 70 miles, I had trouble with my left heel, and that was definitely something I didn’t want to deal with again. I wanted my rest to be a direct result of my own decision and not because my body was forcing me to. Luckily, I haven’t had any issues preventing me from actually running, aside from body tiredness.
I let a couple more days pass and decided I wanted to start running again. So much for me taking the entire month of November off, huh? A solid 8 days after Javelina. I set out on a short 3 mile run. Nothing more. Except, my body didn’t quite get the memo and gave me 5.25 miles. I felt great and my energy was there. Yippee!! I knew I made the right call for me.
The next day was Election Day and I hit the polls early intending to run later, but the day got away from me and it didn’t happen. The following day, I couldn’t muster any motivation to run. I couldn’t muster any motivation to do much of anything besides cry and feel sadness and heartache for what had transpired. I entered a state of grief.
I couldn’t understand how someone who ran a platform on racism and sexism and homophobia, and simply an intolerance for people of different cultural and religious beliefs, could become our President. When you really break his entire campaign down, all those elements are there and I’m not okay with any of those things. Listen, I know Hillary isn’t perfect, nobody is, but now post-election, we are more divisive than ever. Of course, who’s to say, the negative backlash wouldn’t have happened anyway if she had won? But you can already see those things surfacing more, and people are legitimately terrified, and rightly so!
And this post isn’t a debate on politics because frankly, nobody is going to convince anyone of opposition at this point to think or feel otherwise, unless people have regrets after the fact, but my guess is, chances of that happening are pretty miniscule.
But I just simply could not understand it. I know people have their reasons to have voted for him, just as I do for not, but I, along with millions of other Americans were left stunned, and in disbelief.
To say this week has been emotionally hard is an understatement, and I know I’m not alone in that. Part of me excused myself from running because I reiterated to myself I was still recovering from Javelina. The other part of me, simply didn’t feel like it.
When Thursday rolled around, I knew I needed to pry myself out of my depression and hit the ground running. Literally. My body needed a run. Running helps me think and process all the craziness that is going on, but there is simply so much craziness I would have needed to run those 100 miles that day. The 5.6 miles would just have to do.
Like anyone feeling real grief, I wasn’t going to tell myself to just get over it. I mean, I wouldn’t tell anyone who had a loved one die to just “get over it.” People deal with loss differently, and on different timelines – just like recovering from races. Some people can go out running the next day after a big race, and others need 8 days, or longer.
It was really difficult for me to process the results, much like the results of my own race at Javelina. And just like the DNF I received, this election ignited something in me. It woke me up. It opened my eyes. It makes me want to work harder for what I want to see to happen and for what I believe in! And now more than ever, turn up the compassion and love and kindness for all humans! I won’t forget about those non-humans either.
I also see the good that may come out of this week, and that’s a positive uplifting feeling to have. I’m trying hard to focus on the positive aspects and channel that into making a difference because I know millions of other people are doing the same and that gives me hope.
And just like my results at Javelina, they ignited something in me to start training again because I am not going to quit! While my training is now in the offseason, it’s going to be an important time to rebuild and make me even stronger. Much like this country. But I have faith and I’m going to stay strong because that’s who I am. I am a runner!
Peace and love to ALL and thank you for reading!
