January 1st was to be my first run since Christmas. As I started to move, my legs felt like they had 20-pound cinder blocks attached to them, my breathing felt labored, and it seemed like I was going against 40 mph headwinds.
The funny thing was, I was inside on a treadmill, and able to muster up enough energy for a slow walk.
While I know it was partly attributed to being sick, I couldn’t help but think about how much fitness I’ve lost – not just from having a cold, but from not running as much in the past couple of months. I’ve been in hibernation mode!
During my offseason, there was a good chance I’d lose some endurance. I wasn’t worried about that.
Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t walk any faster than I was, and I didn’t feel like pushing it. The last thing I wanted to do was to suffer a sickness relapse.
In the past, I’ve pushed myself harder than I should have, and the next thing I know, I’m chugging down the NyQuil and DayQuil like nobody’s business, and hacking up my lungs. My goal was for that not to happen.
But as I was plodding along, the negative thoughts surfaced:
Why didn’t I run more?
Why did I rest so much?
It’s going to be so difficult to get back to where I was!
It didn’t matter that I was getting over a cold and I hadn’t run in a week.
And then I imagined telling those same things to someone else:
Why didn’t you run more?
Why did you decide to rest so much?
You’re going to have a hard time getting back to where you were!
If I wouldn’t say those things to someone, why was it okay for me to tell myself the same things?
We have the power to choose the thoughts we’re allowing to fill our minds.
After the negative voices had their little fun, I ushered them along and said they had no place there. There is no room for any of that in my head.
Instead, I accepted my current state of fitness.
This is where I am. It doesn’t mean this is where I’m staying. It just means this is where I am, right now.
I am wiping the running and training slate clean! I am leaving last year behind and I don’t plan to revisit. Whatever I did last year is over and done with. All the miles. All the races. All the elevation gain. There is no point in comparing what I did then, to what I’m doing now.
We’ve all got to start somewhere, and I started with an hour-long, 3-mile walk. And I’m proud of that.
Happy Running (or Walking or Biking, etc.) to you all!