At first, I was thinking about writing a 2019 Year in Review and reflecting on what happened, what didn’t happen, what I learned, and so forth, but my heart wasn’t in it. I wasn’t up to looking back and revisiting all that I’ve felt and experienced throughout the year.
However, if I were to write my 2019 year-end review, it would probably go something like this:
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I didn’t calculate my mileage totals for the year. With a few exceptions, I didn’t keep track of what I ran or walked on any given day. I stopped caring about it.
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I didn’t take many photos.
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I didn’t find out what my Top 9 of 2019 Instagram photos were. I didn’t want to know.
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I didn’t post much on social media. I stepped back from it because I honestly had nothing to say. I’d share a post here and there, like a post, and comment, but other than that, I honestly had no idea what to say.
That’s it. The end.
While 2019 had some fun highlights for me (trips to Philadelphia and New York City), overall it was a tough emotional year, and much of it I kept to myself, or with those closest to me.
It’s strange because when I re-read the first post that I wrote a year ago, I knew I had some anxiety going into the new year; like I was nervous or worried about something. I wonder if I had some sort of intuition, or foresight into what the year was going to bring.
Going into 2020, I didn’t have those same nervous feelings. I had absolutely no anxiety, or dreaded thoughts of “Uh oh, I wonder what this year is gonna bring me this time?”
It was more, Oooh! I wonder what this year is going to bring me?!?!
Maybe that’s where I failed last year. I was living in the uncertain future when the uncertain future hadn’t happened yet, and if anything I do this year, I’m trying to live more presently in each moment.
When New Year’s Day finally hit, I truly felt excited. Excited about possibilities and some adventures that may come around. Excited about running. Excited about making some changes.
While I know 2020 will have its share of ups and downs and challenges, I feel lighter going into it. It’s difficult to describe, but I was ready for 2019 to be over and done with, and when midnight struck on January 1st, it was as if my mindset had completely shifted in a second. I feel like 2019 armed me with more of what I need to handle this year, and it’s a Leap Year so one extra day that needs to be handled.
Perhaps I’ll keep this blog going for a little while longer to share more of what’s going on this year – both good and maybe not so-good. And more regularly.
So time to fasten seatbelts because this year is off and running and there isn’t any time to waste.
Be well and thank you for reading!