Hello friends!
First off, Happy New Year! Happy St. Patrick’s Day! And for me, a special milestone – Happy Blogiversary!
It was on St. Patrick’s Day in 2011 when I launched this little blog. That year I was finishing up a Post-Baccalaureate program to apply to medical school and wanted a fun hobby that went with my other hobby of running.
And I honestly can’t believe 10 years have passed since I decided to hit submit on that first post.
In case you’re wondering, I didn’t end up going to medical school. While I did very well in my program and volunteered many hours in a hospital (mostly the Emergency Department which I loved! And spent enough time in it to watch Grey’s Anatomy or Chicago Med and say “Ok that doesn’t happen.”), I didn’t do so well on the MCAT and that was my biggest stumbling block. I finished with my studies and started working for a company with the intention that I would take a year and study for the MCAT again.
That one year turned into two years, and then four, and somewhere during that time, the dream of going to medical school and becoming a doctor disappeared. I had it for so long and then poof! It vanished and I didn’t know how I could get it back.
I struggled with the idea that if I didn’t have that particular dream, then what dream did I have?
I felt lost and confused and like I had disappointed so many people. I would wander aimlessly from one day into the next (much like the last year) and had tried so hard to keep the door open in case that spark returned, but nothing worked.
A couple of years ago I finally decided I held onto the hope of that dream returning far too long and it was time to say goodbye to it. I threw out all of my MCAT study materials, and class notes, and books. The act itself was so freeing and yet, I felt some sadness because I was saying goodbye to what once was and perhaps, what could have been. But the drive to pursue medicine was completely gone.
And I wish I could tell you why but there was nothing in particular. Dreams come and some do go.
Even a couple of years ago when my dad was in the hospital and in the last year of the pandemic none of my old feelings of wanting to go into medicine came back to me. While I’m so thankful for all of our healthcare workers, I didn’t feel any regret.
I made peace with that dream leaving which wasn’t an easy thing to do.
But I still have this little blog and maybe I’ve kept it alive for the last 10 years because it reminds me of when I started it and that time when I had a dream, or more precisely, that specific dream.
Or maybe I just wanted a fun little hobby that went with my other hobby of running.
So if you find yourself in that same situation where a dream you had left, don’t worry. Keep living. Keep finding joy. Keeping discovering things that make you happy. There are plenty of dreams still out there.
Thank you for reading and I hope you and your loved ones are all well.