Silence speaks louder than words. That has never been more true than the silence I’ve given to this blog, especially in the last year.
When I published my last post here in October, I felt sure I’d be back to posting more regularly, but then I dropped it. I found myself not even wanting to write here. I didn’t even want to look at this website and I couldn’t understand why. I thought perhaps it was because I wasn’t running as much and didn’t have anything to say or contribute (which is true).
However, there was so much going on externally and within me that I had to stop for a moment to try and figure out what was causing me to not want to come back here.
The source came down to a couple of reasons:
- I don’t feel aligned with this blog anymore.
- I don’t feel connected to the name anymore.
These feelings are nothing new and I’m not surprised at them. For the past couple of years this has been brewing, the writing has been on the wall, and perhaps I didn’t want to address it because I was in denial. It’s difficult to break away from what is familiar and the silly name you have identified with for so long.
I recall the post I wrote at the end of 2022 when I was starting to think that perhaps it was time to walk away from this blog. In that post, I mentioned how I was just listening to the Mel Robbins podcast, where she talked about when to let something go. In that episode, she says, if holding on, is holding you back, it’s time to let go. Her simple rule was: If it’s a drain or a pain, let it go.
Part of me doesn’t want to let this go and that is why I keep it here. This site and this name (A Running Mess) have been in existence for close to 14 years and I find myself struggling to walk away from them because it reminds me of who I was and what I accomplished. But it’s time.
It’s time for me to step away, and while my heart is sad about it, I know in the long run it’s for the right reasons.
Change can be difficult but I am not the same person I was when I launched this blog on March 17, 2011, and that should be the case. I should not be the same person.
In many ways, I still am the same, especially regarding what I value and hold dear, but my mindset has changed, my priorities have changed, and a few interests have changed. That is a good thing and I can’t be sad about that because that is called growth.
Why am I even sad about not being A Running Mess anymore? It’s a silly name anyway, but I’m sure I can come up with another silly name to replace it with.
As a side note, I can’t recall if I ever mentioned it here, and honestly, I don’t believe I have because I couldn’t find any posts where this was brought up, but in case you were wondering, the name was a take on the Jason Mraz song “A Beautiful Mess.”
So, what now?
For now, this blog and any associations with the name on the social webs will remain there, but I’ll probably be back here at some point once I have something else set up. It could be tomorrow, or next week, who knows?
But in the meantime, I want to thank everyone who has read this blog, shared, commented, liked, and become a friend due to it. A special thank you to Mike. When I told him I was thinking about starting a blog he encouraged me to do it and was always supportive and encouraging. So thank you, Mike, wherever you are.
I’ll be honest: this post was difficult to write, but it was also the easiest. If that even makes any sense. Either way, it needed to be written.
Until next time, stay well, and thank you for reading.